A Place to Start
August 18, 2010 § Leave a comment
I’ve started this blog in order to organize my thoughts as I research and explore the Left Hand Path. My interest in the occult began when I was 11, and due to be confirmed in the Catholic Church. I had had my complaints about the dogma of the church for a long time, but my discomfort with the church grew as I looked into my alternatives. I had stumbled across Nate Leved’s “The Seven Scrolls of the Black Rose” while searching Google images for a black rose for a collage I was making. In my search, I saw a link for a black rose dreamcatcher – which then lead me to Leved’s site, and I was hooked.
Since then I’ve done my share of reading about Satanism and Luciferianism, a bit of Gnosticism and Buddhism as well, even some Wicca. I did end up getting confirmed in the Catholic church in 8th grade, though against my will. I’ve since found that theistic Satanism is the belief system that matchest closest to mine. Throughout high school I wavered in my beliefs, doing short stints of intense reading and research, then dropping it for months whenever I got distracted by teenage drama or family issues.
One summer, I attended a camp in Massachusetts where I was fortunate enough to meet a few peers that shared my interest in Luciferianism and the occult. When camp ended, we continued to communicate, and four of us formed a coven of sorts. We were passionate, and our intentions were in the right place, but we were ill prepared to get involved with magick and rituals. The group disbanded after an intense but misguided few months. When we all went off to college, it felt as though the dream was dead. Though I knew I couldn’t live a surface life without the prescence of Satan, I feared I didn’t have the time to dedicate to Him.
I don’t feel that way anymore. In the past few weeks, a series of events lead me back to the path. I revisited the Seven Scrolls of the Black Rose and found they still resonated with me on some level, which lead me to do some more searching to see what, if anything, new had been created in the Satanist scene. I came across the Church of Azazel website, eagerly read through and was thrilled to see that there was a group in existence that managed to believe in Satan as a real force, without tainting that belief with the white supremecism, sexism, or call to violence occasionally seen in other Satanist groups. I had been discouraged previously by the lack of intellectualism present in Satanist groups, but the Church of Azazel is not only intellectual and sensible, but also socially active.
I am hoping that with my renewed passion for Satanism combined with the resources of the Church of Azazel, I’ll be able to achieve a greater bredth of understanding of the occult, and a network of like-minded people I can converse with. I am making an effort to pace myself and start small. My current goals are to read other Satanist blogs and Satanist literature and blog daily on what I’ve found, also to work on more frequent meditation, astral projection, and lucid dreaming.
Any feedback and support in my journey would be greatly appreciated. I know that I am young (still in college, I’ll give you that much) and despite having had an interest for a long time, I’ve hardly made a dent in the literature and ideas available.
Ipsa scientia potestas est,