Progress thus far (8/31)
August 31, 2010 § 3 Comments
Thought I’d throw out a bit of a more personal entry tonight (bit too tired for the academic side of things, started classes yesterday and I’m already tired). I do think though that putting this up now will encourage me to work harder and make progress, and it’ll be fun to look back on in a few weeks when (Lucifer willing) I’ll have gotten much further in my work.
What I’ve been trying to do lately is ease back into a steady practice of meditation and ritual magick. When I’ve picked up the occult before (and I hate talking about it like it’s some coffee table book, it’s the whole heart of my life) I’ve gone into it in a bit of a rush, too excited and overeager – I get ahead of myself, expect quick results, and quit. I’ve been known to do this with a few things (between the ages of 3 and 13 I managed to start and quit the following: gymnastics, ballet, violin, dance, guitar, trombone and tae kwon do). I could blame this on my mother for letting me quit everything, but that’s only a semi-valid excuse for when I was younger than ten. Past that, it’s just a lie.
So I’m endeavoring to come at it from a different angle this time. I’m starting slower, and trying to accept that I won’t be able to do incredible things overnight. I’ve started a modest meditation practice, mostly void, focal and chakra based. I do void meditation for five minutes when I wake up, and between 5-10 sometime in the afternoon, mixing chakra and aura cleaning in there as well. Before I go to sleep, I say a brief prayer at the very least, then attempt to do some astral projection/trace work if I’m not too tired.
I also wrote up a bit of a ritual set-up, with a banishing ritual that I based around the Chaos star. I’m keeping the details to myself for now, mostly because I fear that criticism would my belief in the process, and we all know ritual without belief is nothing. At least in my philosophy it is. I did a self-dedication ritual recently which felt successful. I had done one years before, in a friends basement with some candles, that ended weirdly – it was well worth a re-do.
I’m going to work towards being able to void meditate and do focal meditation for 10 minutes minimum, and also lucid dream and astral project more successfully within the next couple weeks. I’m also going to work in cold-shower meditation more often (I was really successful with that this morning, it’s a great way to overpower your senses and force yourself to focus internally, it’s also a bit of a rush). At some point I’d love to work my drumming into a meditative thing, but I have to get myself to practice the drums more consistently first :/ (see my former mention of my quitting problem to explain this)
I should post back on my progress in 2 weeks or so. If I don’t, bother me!
Ipsa scientia potestas est,