Progress since 11/1, Goals for December
November 30, 2010 § 1 Comment
This is going to be a follow-up to this previous post: Results since 9/26, Goals for November in following with my monthly goal setting trend.
First off, for those of you who also live in the upper western hemisphere or anywhere else where it is cold and dreary right now: Are you as bummed as I am? Because damn, this weather makes me sad. There’s actually a name for that, fittingly abbreviated S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) which I’m pretty sure I have. Despite the fact that I don’t consider it a very concrete/real disease, I certainly fit the symptoms. Right after daylight savings time, my mood just sort of fell downhill. Not even downhill really, just sort of a bit of a roll and then *wham* right off a cliff. Oh well.
In any case, I did work towards the goals I set for this past month, and definitely made some progress, though admittedly I didn’t reach all of my goals (I’m aiming for an “A for effort” here)
So, let’s look at this case by case:
I had said I wanted to get more comfortable with the Middle Pillar ritual, and that I’ve done. It wasn’t actually that difficult, despite most of my meditation experience being chakra based. I got used to purple being at my throat instead of blue, and yellow at my heart instead of green, and silver in the sacral area instead of orange, and after that it just sort of came naturally. I did two 10 minute sessions this month using the Middle Pillar ritual (I know, not much) but it was enough to get myself familiar. My other goal was to be able to meditate for half an hour without my feet and legs falling asleep. To be honest, I don’t actually know if I can do that or not because I haven’t tried. Though I did perform a ritual that lasted a solid hour, and the majority of that was meditated, so I’d guess I could do it. I’ll time myself some time this week and see how long I can go for, and update on it.
New goals: Obviously, I want to make sure (officially timed and documented) that I can do half an hour, no breaks. I also want to do the Middle Pillar ritual more frequently. Past that, I don’t have any concrete goals for meditation. I wouldn’t mind attempting a different asana, as I’ve been pretty set in the half lotus position for a while. Maybe try full lotus? or dragon pose? Actually, that sounds good. Alright, my new goal for meditation is to become comfortable meditating in a position other than half lotus. Good.
Had I not practiced so much this afternoon, I’d really be berating myself in this section. I had said I needed *NEEDED* to be able to do single and double rolls by the end of November, and I had to practice every other day.
Well, dear readers, I haven’t done either of those. *single tear*. But I am working on it! I practiced nothing but double and single rolls (mostly doubles) this afternoon, going back to the very basic techniques (gripwork, etc) and really tried. And I didn’t practice every other day because I was out of town for a week this month for Thanksgiving and obviously didn’t take my kit with me. I’ve learned three new songs though, and a couple new grooves and fills, and that certainly counts for something.
New Goals: I’m just going to keep rolling this one over until I friggin’ get it: Single and double rolls. That’s all I’m going to ask of myself. It is December after all, and I’ll be away for Christmas so there will be another week out of the month that I can’t practice.
I told myself I had to have another lucid dream this month, and I had to be able to manipulate my environment this time, or at least try. I haven’t had a lucid dream on par with the one I had after listening to the LRS Podcast (#3) – but I have had much clearer dreams, and I’ve been recording them in greater detail than I ever have before. I think, for now, this is enough. I’ve done as much as I can to try to encourage a lucid dream, and it just hasn’t come. The most I can do is try more dream checks during the day, and keep recording my dreams.
New Goals: Keep recording the dreams in detail, and do more reality/dream checks during the day (checking digital clocks, reading text, thinking about dreaming in general throughout the day)
Ooph. The more I go through these, the more I realize I didn’t reach a lot of these goals. I think I’ve learned though that while it’s important to challenge yourself, there’s also a balance involved – if you continually set the bar too high, you won’t get anything done. Case in point: I still can’t do very many real push ups. Last few days, I have genuinely done a few sets of knee push ups (stop laughing at me!) every day. Not building up much strength though, and the emphasis there is obviously on the “last few days” – I wasn’t doing push ups all month. Though, in contrast to my failed “do a split” goal, I think being able to do push ups is a goal worth pursuing. I’m gonna roll this one over, too.
New Goals: Real Push ups. Solid ones. Ten of them. The “out-of-town” thing really isn’t an excuse here, I can totally do push ups at my dad’s house. I can do push ups anywhere, and I know the more I do them the more I’ll be able to do. That’s how it works. Just ten, that’s all I’m gonna try for. I’m going easy on myself this month, since it’s the holidays and the cold weather is really throwing me off.
Finally, the goals I actually did accomplish:
I had said I wanted to finish Chicken Qabalah and Portable Darkness and memorized the paths of the Tree of Life. I did all of that, and I read two other books: Indra’s Net: Chaos Theory and Alchemy as Models for Transformation by Robin Robertson and My Life with the Spirits by Lon Milo Duquette. Also I’m halfway through Low Magick by DuQuette, and I finished reading Promethea by Alan Moore. All of the above are highly recommended.
New Goals: I hardly need to make reading a “goal” I do that naturally and without incentive. Therefore I think my next goal in the “other” category should be ritual based. I’ve thus far only done the LBRP and basic sigil magick and not much else – so I want to expand my horizons on that front and try something different. Star Ruby? A different banishing ritual? an invocation? Whatever I come up with, as long as it’s a break with routine it counts.
That’s about all folks, I am wiped and need to go to bed so I can do homework in the morning (yes, on top of doing all of the above, I also go to school and have a part time job…and sleep)
Ipsa scientia potestas est,